January 15, 2015

The Final Stretch....Third Trimester Thoughts

As I enter the third trimester of pregnancy, I am flooded with so many emotions.


But more seriously, I've been reflecting on what an incredible journey this pregnancy has been. It's been hard, confusing, uncomfortable, surprising, joyful, exciting, and the most bizarre experience of my life. Having gone through a mixed bag thus far in life (great sorrow and great joy, and everything in between) I thought I knew what getting into pregnancy would mean for me. I had seen friends go through it, watched the movies, read the books, and thought I knew how I would react.

Yeah, it went differently.

To be honest, we didn't know if we would be able to have children. We had tried for awhile (over the course of several years), nothing happened, and so we were in this interesting limbo of being open to it...but not expecting to get pregnant. Anyone who has struggled to get pregnant can relate to feeling weird and confused about the whole thing, especially when watching others get pregnant so quickly and easily. (My sister-in-law got pregnant in one month. Both pregnancies. She is a fertile goddess!)

So when it finally happened (surprise!) it was the weirdest thing - I couldn't trust it. I was constantly fearful about having a miscarriage, worried that I was somehow going to mess it up...I just couldn't settle into the idea.

But then came the insane sickness that plagued me for 12 weeks...and I started to believe. :)

And then your belly starts to grow, and you hear a heartbeat, and you feel a kick (!!!), and then you meet your little girl over an ultrasound, and then you're taking birth classes, and then you're thinking about what you're going to bring to the hospital. And here we are.

Over the course of this journey my wish has been to trust and celebrate this miracle. These are my mantras for the third trimester. TRUST and CELEBRATE.

If you've known my husband for more than 5 minutes, you know that he is, well, the best. During the first trimester he starting writing his reactions down on his phone - mostly in poem form. He's letting me share his initial thoughts when I told him I was pregnant...they still make me cry.

January 1, 2015

Hello 2015 / It's A Brand New Year

"You're not a mess, you're BRAVE for trying."

+ + + + +   Happy New Year!  + + + + +

This year I've decided to choose a word and color to represent my 2015, and I've chosen TRUST and gorgeous GREEN. (Thanks Becka for the inspiration!) I'm prone to rush right to fear/worry/anxiety when faced with scary things but my mantra for this year is to trust. We are looking ahead to many new things, changes, unknown twists and turns - and instead of dealing with those things by steeping in worry worry worry, I am trusting the process. I have always loved the color green, and this year it's a powerful reminder of growth, new life, abundance, and being connected to nature. 

 > > > TRUST MY BODY // i am the strength of all women who have ever birthed a baby and i am ready to join that tribe.
To naturally labor and birth a baby, to find my inner strength, to bounce back afterwards

> > > TRUST MY CREATIVITY // you attract the right things when you have a sense of who you are.
To honor all of my creative ideas, to follow my hunches, to keep learning more 

> > > TRUST MY PARTNER // to love a person is to see all of their magic, and to remind them of it when they have forgotten.
Embrace collaboration, express my gratitude for him daily, let go of my control, learn together

> > > TRUST THE PROCESS // hold the vision, trust the process.
I may not have the answers now, but that won't prevent me from moving forward

> > > TRUST THE UNIVERSE // God is within her, she will not fall.
I am part of something larger, I am not alone, and I will not fall

In addition to my mantra and color, I've got a few others things that I'm channeling this year:

living simply and paring down
living in the moment, leaving the phone
living authentically
remembering there is goodness in everyone

How about you? I'd love to hear your thoughts, goals, resolutions, and mantras for 2015. Please share! 

October 1, 2014

Some BIG News!


Do you know how hard it's been to keep that secret?

We are OVER THE MOON excited to welcome our little one next April - 
a time which seems incredibly far away and bizarrely right around the corner.

For those of you who know us, you know it's been an interesting and long(ish) journey to starting our family. 
I'm planning on sharing more of that journey, but for now Matthew and I just want to share our joy with you all!

Check out that hand!
The heartbeat, sounding strong!

June 12, 2014

Pretty Cakes for Days | Santa Barbara Life & Style Shoot

Olive oil cake, topped with blackberries and ice cream, topped with whipped cream, finished with fresh blackberries and a sprinkling of powdered sugar.

I got to hang out with this cake today because.... I have the best job ever. :)

I spent the day with the ladies of Santa Barbara Life & Style Magazine, photographing a collection of gorgeous cakes for their 1st anniversary issue. This beauty was made by our local favorite McConnell's Fine Ice Creams here in Santa Barbara. THEY ROCK.

And let me tell you - it tasted as good as it looks!
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