Dear Penny, I See You

January 4, 2018

Hey Pen,

Today I saw that look again. That one that happens when you see me holding Felix, and your face crumples a little, and your eyes look a little bit sad. Today I saw you hold your feelings, as you watched me care for your little brother.  It's okay brother, you cooed during that big diaper change. I saw you give him no less than twenty big sister hugs, and big, wet, sloppy kisses until he told you he needed his space. Remember when you made him laugh all those times today?

You are doing so well, my Pennyboo. This is so hard, all of us learning to share each other. I am impressed by your resiliency and love, especially in those frustrating times when we all wish I could be split in two. I am so proud of you!

I hope you will keep talking to me, because I love hearing what's going on in your head and heart. Oh, I did not know that! I can hear you saying these exact words, I can see your eyebrows rising, your head tilting to the side. Our conversations are truly one of the greatest joys of my life. You are a marvel, Penelope. 

This week as we navigated new potty adventures, you said to me many times mama, I'm scared. And each time, I said I know you are scared...but I also know that you are very brave.

I just want you to know, that in the midst of transition and holidays and welcoming your brother and potty training and all the craziness of life - I see you, Penny.

All my love,

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